Unapologetically You: Embracing Your Authentic Self

There’s a certain magic that happens when we allow ourselves to take up space in the world. When we choose to embrace all of who we are, without apology, the world opens up in ways we never imagined. But so often, we shrink. We try to fit into the boxes that society has laid out for us, or worse, the boxes we’ve created in our own minds. We hold back, thinking we’re “too much” or “not enough.” But I’m here to tell you: you are perfectly you, and there is no one else who can do the job of being you. You are not too much. You are exactly what the world needs.

The Wound of "Being Too Much"

It doesn’t matter if you’re wearing a jean skirt that you adore, or dreaming big about how you can impact the world—there are always people ready to tell you to “tone it down” or “keep it in check.” I know I’ve heard it, and chances are, you have too. In fact, I remember a particular moment when I was a little girl—just six years old. I had this jean skirt with a lace hem that I absolutely loved. I wore it proudly to school, only to be met by a girl a few years older than me who made a nasty comment about me being a "spoiled little rich girl." She said she could only wear the same skirt to church.

I was stopped in my tracks. I had never once considered myself that way. It wasn’t about the skirt, but rather how I felt in it—the pride, the joy, the freedom of being unapologetically me. That moment stuck with me for years, and in many ways, it became a wound I’ve worked hard to heal. It impacted my relationship with money and abundance, leaving me to feel unworthy of fully embracing joy and success.

But guess what? That girl’s voice is no longer welcome in my life. That little girl, dressed in her favorite skirt, is free to speak her truth. She is free to shine. And I am reclaiming her—no more hiding, no more smallness, no more apology.

Recently, through deep reflection, I realized that I had never given that little girl permission to turn around and own her truth. To speak up and say, “This is me! This is my style, and I’m going to wear it proudly.” And you know what? That ends now. She is free to be all of who she wants to be, unapologetically.

The truth is, you are not too much. Your fullness—your boldness, your creativity, your uniqueness—is needed in this world. We need you, as you are, in your full glory. So, what would it look like for you to fully show up, without hesitation?

The Power of Living Authentically

This is your invitation, too. To stop holding back. To stop shrinking yourself to make others feel comfortable. For far too long, many of us have hidden parts of ourselves, dimming our light in the hopes of fitting into what others expect or what society deems “acceptable.” The truth is, when we shrink to meet someone else’s expectations, we are not only doing a disservice to ourselves, but we are also robbing the world of the beauty that comes from our authentic self.

When we honor our true selves—our quirks, our passions, our interests, our likes and dislikes—we give the world permission to do the same. By showing up fully, without apology, we make space for others to shine their authentic light too. And isn’t that what the world needs more of right now? People who unapologetically walk through life as themselves, embracing their imperfections, their strengths, and their individuality. By claiming our authenticity, we empower others to do the same, creating a ripple effect of acceptance and self-expression that transcends societal norms.

In a world that constantly tells us to "be more," "do more," or "fit in," living authentically often feels like a revolutionary act. We’re told that we need to change ourselves in some way to be loved, accepted, or successful. But the truth is, you don’t need to be more. You don’t need to conform. What you need to do is embrace the person you already are. Living authentically doesn’t require a grand performance; it's about being true to yourself, in every aspect of your life, whether in how you dress, how you speak, or how you engage with others.

It's not just about wearing your favorite skirt, painting your nails in bold colors, or playing your favorite music at full volume (though all of these are glorious!). It’s about owning who you are in every way—whether you’re doing the most mundane tasks or embarking on your biggest dreams. It’s the courage to speak your mind, the confidence to pursue your passion, and the willingness to say no when something doesn’t align with your truth. It’s in the small moments when you stop pretending to be someone you’re not and give yourself permission to just be.

What would it feel like if you allowed yourself to be fully yourself? Imagine how it would feel to show up at a family gathering, a meeting, or even a quiet moment by yourself without holding back. Without second-guessing your every move or worrying about how you might be perceived. The energy shift is palpable. You would feel free, liberated, and connected—not just with yourself, but with others as well. The more we live authentically, the more we create the space for others to do the same. It's a beautiful exchange. And the best part? You’ll find that you’re not just surviving, you’re thriving.

Living authentically is not always easy. It requires introspection, courage, and a deep sense of self-awareness. It's about being honest with yourself, embracing both the light and the shadow, and realizing that you are worthy of being loved exactly as you are. The road to authenticity may not always be smooth, but it is a journey worth taking. When you begin to step into the fullness of who you are, you’ll notice that the world around you shifts. People are drawn to your energy, your confidence, and your light. And it’s a beautiful, magnetic thing.

The Invitation

One of my favorite poems that speaks to this theme is The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer. It beautifully captures the essence of showing up fully in life—without pretense, without hiding, and without apology.

Here’s an excerpt: please find it online - with the book - you’ll love it!!

The Invitation
by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.
I want to know what you ache for,
and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.
I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool
for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

…

This poem invites us to show up in our fullness, no matter the circumstances. It challenges us to embrace all parts of ourselves, even the messy, difficult, and raw parts, and bring them to the world. This is who we are, and we need to stand tall in it.

Shifting the Narrative: You Are Not Too Much

When I was younger, I believed that being too much was something to hide. But now, I see it as something to celebrate. The truth is, the world needs more of your “too muchness.” It needs your boldness, your unapologetic joy, and your full self-expression. Whether it's your love for colorful clothes, your penchant for adventure, or your passion for learning—this is your magic, your power.

Here’s the thing: you are enough. You don’t need to change who you are to fit in. You don’t need to dim your light to make someone else feel comfortable. The more we embrace our own unique traits, the more we can share with the world—and the more the world will benefit from it.

How to Embrace Your Authenticity Every Day

If you’re ready to show up fully as your authentic self, here are a few practical ways to begin:

1. The Power of Saying No

We often think that being authentic means saying “yes” to everything. But sometimes, living authentically requires saying “no.” Saying no to things that drain you, to things that don’t align with your purpose, to the pressure to be someone you’re not—this is a powerful act of self-respect and personal integrity.

When we say “no” to something that doesn’t serve us, we make room for what truly matters—what feels aligned with our values and energy. It’s a practice of setting boundaries, which we’ve discussed in earlier posts. But in this context, saying no is an act of fierce self-love and self-preservation. In fact, when you say no to something that feels wrong, you are actually saying yes to the best version of yourself.

Many people struggle with saying no because of the fear of disappointing others. But here’s the truth: by saying no, you’re teaching others how to respect your time, your space, and your energy. Saying no isn’t about being selfish. It’s about being real and honoring your limits. It’s about acknowledging that, in order to show up as your true, authentic self, you have to make choices that nourish you.

Think of someone you admire for their authenticity. Do they say yes to everything, or have they mastered the art of saying no when necessary? In fact, the most successful and content people know their limits, and they’re unapologetic about maintaining them. Letting go of the fear of saying no allows you to protect your energy, allowing space for joy and the things that truly matter to you.

Practical Tip: Next time you’re asked to do something that doesn’t resonate with you, take a deep breath and check in with yourself. Does it align with your values? If the answer is no, trust yourself enough to say it. Practice saying no in small ways and watch how you become more aligned with your true self.

2. Embracing Imperfection as Part of Authenticity

Authenticity is not about being perfect. It's about embracing the imperfections that make us human. So often, we hold ourselves back because we feel that we have to be a certain way—beautiful, perfect, polished. But authenticity thrives in the imperfections. It’s the quirks, the scars, the things we try to hide, that make us unique and valuable.

Consider your favorite people. What do you love about them? Is it their picture-perfect lives, or is it their messy, imperfect, raw honesty? Authenticity doesn’t require perfection; it thrives in vulnerability. It’s in admitting when you’re struggling, when things are messy, or when you’re not feeling your best, and still showing up as yourself.

One of the most profound ways we can be authentic is by embracing our imperfections and owning them with pride. Stop hiding the parts of you that make you “different”—those are the parts that make you beautiful. Whether it’s the way you speak, your unique sense of humor, the way you move through the world, or the way you express yourself—embracing all of you is an act of authenticity.

Practical Tip: Think of one thing that you tend to hide or downplay about yourself. What would it look like if you embraced that part with love instead of shame? Maybe it’s a quirk in your personality, a habit you’ve been trying to change, or an aspect of your appearance you’re self-conscious about. This week, take one small step to embrace it and own it with pride.

3. Celebrating Your Journey

Being authentic doesn’t just mean being yourself; it means acknowledging and celebrating the journey that has brought you to this moment. We all go through seasons of growth, of learning, and of becoming who we are meant to be. Too often, we focus only on the end goal or the idea of what we “should” be, rather than appreciating the process and growth that led us here.

Your journey is a vital part of your authenticity. Every struggle, every triumph, every mistake—those are all pieces of who you are. They’ve shaped your perspective, your strength, and your resilience. When you embrace your story, you are embracing your authenticity.

Practical Tip: Take time to reflect on your journey. Write down the milestones, challenges, and moments that have shaped who you are. Celebrate those moments and see how far you’ve come. Don’t just look ahead to the next step—look back with gratitude for how much you’ve grown.

4. Connect with Others Who Reflect Your Authenticity

Authenticity thrives in community. Surround yourself with people who accept you as you are, who encourage you to be your true self, and who aren’t afraid to show up in their full authenticity. When we are around people who accept us for who we are, we feel safer to show up authentically ourselves.

Seek out relationships—whether with friends, mentors, or partners—that encourage vulnerability, honesty, and self-expression. The more we connect with others who reflect our true selves, the more we feel confident in embracing and expressing our own authenticity.

Practical Tip: Take a moment to reflect on your relationships. Are there people in your life who encourage you to be your authentic self? If not, it may be time to reassess who you’re spending your time with. Seek out connections with people who reflect your true values and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.

These will all be much easier to do if you remember you can give yourself permission to: 

1. Express Yourself Boldly: Wear the clothes you love. Listen to the music that makes your soul sing. Choose the things that make you feel alive and express who you truly are.
2. Let Go of Self-Judgment: The next time you catch yourself feeling like you’re “too much,” pause. Reflect. Is this an authentic thought or just an old belief you’re carrying around? Let go of that judgment and instead, embrace your own power.
3. Practice Self-Love: Take care of yourself as you would a best friend. Be kind, gentle, and compassionate to yourself, especially when you’re having a difficult time. The more love you give yourself, the more authentic energy you’ll radiate.
4. Surround Yourself with Like-Minded Souls: Seek out people who celebrate your authenticity and encourage you to shine. These relationships are a reflection of how you treat yourself and help amplify your own self-expression.

A Call to Action: Break Free from the Chains

I challenge you to embrace your “too muchness.” Don’t keep yourself small to make someone else feel better. Wear the clothes you love, listen to the music that makes you feel joy, and most importantly, live in the truth of who you are. You are not too much. You are everything the world needs.

As you reflect on your journey and your authentic self, I invite you to share your story. Write it down, speak it aloud, and wear it proudly. The world needs you, in all your boldness and brilliance.

You are more than enough.

With love and authenticity,
Toni 💖

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Here's one of my favorite songs about being you:

https://youtu.be/QUQsqBqxoR4?si=d5_anucJQVmAQHvY